What is the Secret of Life?

I asked this question to 5 different groups of 40 students, aged 13-17 during a workshop I was asked to facilitate at a local high school.

The answers were all positive and uplifting. Love, Marriage, Happiness, Service to Others, Peace, Music, Food (we do need sustenance), Kindness, Joy, Freedom, Compassion, Empathy, Sympathy – each word led to another and the list went on and on.

 

Then I shared with them what I feel to be the secret of life. I told them it is a component of each of the things they said and that without it, they would more than likely never experience to the fullest many of those things that they had shouted out.

 The Secret to Life is Gratitude. 

 

No matter what the situation or circumstance, you can always find something to be grateful for. ALWAYS. It doesn’t matter what you’re experiencing, there is something, somewhere, in your life, that can be grateful for – no exceptions. Now, you may need to look for, but it is there.

One young woman told me she lost a cousin and 4 friends in 9/11. That is very sad, horrible and when people pass, it’s unbearable and leaves a huge hole in our hearts. But, we grow from all that we experience and if that person was never in our life, that hole that we feel due to their passing, would never have been filled at all, for any length of time.

 I have lost many, many, many people in my life through sickness and tragedy. One is never easier than the other. BUT, I do find myself realizing how empty my life would have been without having had them in my life to begin with. I am most grateful for the time I was able to share with these loved ones. Had I not, I would not have grown in the ways that I did to be the person that I am at this point in my life.

I have a friend who lost a son and then lost her husband a few years later. There’s no denying, losing a child is the absolute WORST experience in life. That’s just not how life is supposed to progress. She told me that the moment she heard the doctors tell her he had died, she knew, right then and there, that he was born to her and for her, so she could grow and learn. She learned so much from him and somehow, she knew it and grew more in that nano-second of time upon hearing of his passing than she had ever thought possible.

She is grateful for having had him as her son and she is grateful she has learned so much about life, grieving and enjoying the moments we have while we are here.

It’s not necessary to find gratitude about the situation you’re in, many times that presents too difficult a challenge. Sometimes we feel rage, anger, hatred – toward the Universe, God – however you see the God of your understanding – on top of the sadness and grief we’re experiencing. In those cases, at the moments when you think there is nothing to be grateful for, that’s when I go back to the basics.

I am grateful for the air that I breathe.

I am grateful I am able to think and express myself with words and emotions.

I am grateful I have clothing that protects me and keeps me warm, or cool.

I am grateful for the health that I have.

I am grateful I have money to pay my bills.

I am grateful to live in a free country.

I am grateful I can see, or hear, or feel, or touch, or taste, or walk, or run, or move, etc.

When it gets to the point where you absolutely cannot find something to be grateful for – be grateful you’re aware that you’re looking. Then, ask questions of yourself.

 What are you grateful for about your childhood? Don’t want to go back that far or can’t find anything there? Okay, what are you grateful for about a decade ago or a few years ago, or last month, or last week, or yesterday or this morning or 5 minutes ago? Did you have running water to bathe or make a cup of tea or coffee? Were you able to get out of bed without assistance? It all matters, we just don’t think of these “little” daily tasks because we take them for granted. I do it every day – that’s right, perhaps you do. How grateful are you that you can? Some have the ability to do the things the rest of us can that are so typical in our day.

 Maybe someone uttered a few kind words. THANK YOU!

Maybe someone opened a door for you. THANK YOU!

Maybe someone just smiled at you for no reason. THANK YOU!

Maybe someone just exists and the fact that they do makes you smile. THANK YOU!

There is so much to be grateful for in life. As we usher in this season of THANKS and we make ourselves aware of all the things we can be thankful for, large and small, we enter into our hearts and find we become more alive and in the flow of our life.

 Acknowledge all that you see. Cut yourself some slack when things don’t go well and search for something to be grateful for, you’ll get there. Once you do, take note of the all the positive changes that start happening in your life.

Gratitude is beneficial to both the one giving and the one receiving.

Intending you and yours a most wonderful season of thanks and giving. May it be filled with an abundance of things for which you will be most grateful!