Today is World Kindness Day!

"When you are kind to others, it not only changes you, it changes the world." – Harold Kushner

Someone, somewhere decided there needs to be a designated day to remind us to be kind to others.

It’s a sad state of affairs when we need to be reminded to practice common courtesies. However, in this world, remind ourselves we must.

In reality, when you spread kindness, you’re really helping yourself immensely. When we give to others, without reservation, ulterior motive or expectation, we are truly giving of ourselves which opens up the floodgates allowing wonderful things to manifest in our own lives.

Yes, it does indeed boomerang right back to us and our individual life. Our spirit soars when we practice random acts of kindness. We are living our authentic lives because we are giving freely from our hearts.

I know I am blessed. I recognize that I am most fortunate as I do acknowledge the many kindnesses I have received in my life, as most people do when they put just a bit of thought into it. I also realize we all have had not so very nice or kind things occur, but let’s not dwell on those. The kindness memories are much more pleasurable.

See if you can do something kind for someone today and you will see you are doing yourself a kindness as well. Practicing random acts of kindness every day affects major changes in your life.

Keep a log if need be. Start with today, think of 10 things you could do over the course of the next week and do only one a day . . . just one. Making a list of 10 gives you choices over the next 7 days. Here’s a list to get you started.

1. Simply saying, “Thank you” and “Have a nice day” to a cashier, receptionist or some stranger, doesn’t cost you a thing. We have no idea what is going on in someone else’s life – these words may be the only kind offering they receive all day. Say it sincerely, with complete intention – you never know how it will change their life.

2. Notice the trash in the road, parking lot or somewhere that allows you to stop and pick it up? No one is telling you to stop in the middle of the highway – pick up the trash you see as you go about your day and recycle it or throw it away. This is an act of kindness that affects each and every one of us on this planet: water ways, plants, animals, people, everything.

3. Is there someone with a carriage trying to put children in the car while getting the groceries loaded? Return the carriage to the carousel for that person – you’ll get a huge smile with a very warm and sincere thank you. Makes your own heart feel so good!

4. If you’re in good health, and are able to walk, park at the far end of the lot rather than taking a space near the door. Leave that space for someone who isn't as able as you.

5. Share your umbrella – it’s thoughtful, it’s kind and hey, you never know, you just may make a new friend. Of course, you do need to carry an umbrella with you so you can share.

6. Let a fellow driver in line ahead of you – watch in your rear view mirror as this dominos. It’s amazing. When others see you let someone in line, they start to do it, before you know it, the traffic is flowing at a nice pace.

7. It doesn’t matter, male or female, hold a door open for someone else. Yes, we’re all in a hurry. When someone does that for me, it makes my heart smile just to know someone actually acknowledged my presence. It allows me to stop, even if just for a nanosecond, take a deep breath and move forward more positively.

8. Surprise someone by putting a quarter in the meter before you pull out of the parking space.

9. Buy flowers at the grocery store and give one away, make someone's day.

10. Not using all the coupons you have? Give them to someone else rather than throwing them away or putting them in the recycle bin. It’s a recycling random act of kindness – a two for one if you will, good deal for everyone!

Now make a list of a few kindnesses you have received in your life, just a few. You can do it – my list includes:

1. A neighbor, before she became a close friend, had just come back from Ecuador and brought me the most gorgeous, long stem red roses I had ever seen. They were so tall. I had only met her a week before at a garden club meeting and yet, she felt to bring me roses, just because. This gesture meant so much to me then. I think about it often still. It wasn’t the first time either.

2. Years ago, walking through the Boston Public Gardens with two friends, a young gentleman came running up to me with a bouquet of red roses, he hurriedly pushed them into my hands saying, “Here, you look like you deserve these” – I will never forget that, I was stunned, as were my friends. It was so out of the blue. I then turned around and shared them with my friends – we each got 4 roses. That man, unknowingly I believe, performed a double random act of kindness. You never know how far a kindness will go.

3. While driving back from a conference in Vermont in 1997 I skidded on the highway, did two 360's and flipped over the guard rail landing my Ford Explorer, drivers side down, on the top of Birch Trees. Birch Trees! Do you know how fragile birch trees are? I managed to crawl through the broken glass, past the crushed roof and out the passenger door window when a hand appeared and pulled me up the side of the mountain. It was a gentleman who attended the conference, saw what happened and stopped to help. The roads were very icy and slick from the snow/sleet mix that was coming down heavily and there were many accidents occurring all over the state. He called the police, since I was not bleeding and not visibly injured, which was amazing, the police were tending to the more severe accidents leaving no one available to come to this scene. This dear man drove me an hour out of the way to the nearest police station to pick up accident reports and then drove me home to Massachusetts – a 5 hour ride. He lived two towns away from me. How lucky was that? Or was it luck at all? No, I know it wasn't luck - it was meant. On the way home, as we talked, we learned we shared the same birthday – different year, same day, and our birthday was only two days away. I remember his act of kindness every year on “our” birthday and I say a little prayer for him. Shout out to Chuck – you were a Godsend, I know that – thank you so much!

There are many other acts of kindness I’ve received in my life, some too personal to mention, they’re for me and my memories only.

Whether big or small, we all have memories of kindnesses we’ve received. For me, those memories make me want to share kindness with others.

I intend you many kindnesses not just on this day, but each and every day, and continue to both receive and give kindness whenever and wherever you are able.

11/11/11

We’ve heard it everywhere: TV, radio, print - this date won’t come around again for another one hundred years.

Okay, I get that.

Of course, 1/1/01, 2/02/02, 3/03/03, 4/04/04, 5/05/05, 6/06/06, 7/07/07, 8/08/08, 09/09/09, 10/10/10 and next years’ 12/12/12 won’t be seen for another one hundred years either.

Is it really a big deal?

Isn’t it more important to realize we will never see ANY day again, EVER?

It’s not about the sequence of the days’ numbers, it’s about the time we’re given.

Just as each of us is unique, each day is unique. Each one of us is a gift and each day we get to participate in is a gift as well.

Few of us who are here now will make it to 11/11/11 of the 22nd century and those who do will hardly remember much about 11/11/11 of this 21st century.

Go forth and enjoy 11/11/11 in whatever way works for you. I’m a firm believer in celebrating everything – and I do mean EVERYTHING – every LITTLE thing too.

Just remember to make the most of all your days – celebrate all your days because you will never see any  of those days again either.

As the saying goes: Each day is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present!

The Sound of Silence

I LOVE snow. I LOVE snowshoeing. I LOVE the sound of the silence I hear as it falls. It's a silence like no other. For me it is a whisper from God, 'All is well. All is right with the world'. No matter what is happening in my life, no matter where I am, when the snow falls, even on the busy streets of New York City, I hear the thunderous silence. It's different. It's beautiful. It's mesmerizing.It's meditative.If you just listen, you too, will hear the silence.

This year, the snow arrived very early. I thought it too early, afterall Halloween is still two days away. I spent the day going outside every few hours to sweep the trees of snow so the limbs would not break. Pushing the broom against the heavy branches, I shook each limb and received my own personal snowfall. Heavy and wet. I Loved it. I smiled at how this snow makes me feel: childlike, renewed, refreshed, grounded and at peace. There's a real sense of serenity in being out in the snow.
Snow changes the entire landscape. It cleanses the very air we breathe and shifts the forces of energy that surround us. My inner landscape changes too. It allows me to see who walks on the land I so selfishly refer to as mine. The tracks left by all the creatures who walk across this land: rabbit, deer, chipmunk, squirrel, fox and bear remind me that this is most certainly not MY land at all. They were here first and graciously allow me to share their space. The snow reminds me of that. I see all the tracks, I know who they are, where they live and I bring them food so they won't go hungry - they, too, did not expect this early snowfall. No, none of us were prepared for this unusually early snow event.

There is a stepping stone in my garden engraved with the word: LISTEN. Though it is covered by snow now, I see it in my minds eye - and I do, I listen., closely, but there is no effort in this listening. It is quite simply there for anyone to hear.
Just listen. Allow yourself those moments, they are all too few and far between. They are spectacular and ought not to be missed. Listen. Don't miss the opportunity to hear the beauty of the snow fall, the whisper of a greater power, the perfection of the sound of silence.

Seasons Change

We're in the midst of many changes. The Autumnal Equinox has arrived; a time of cooler weather, shorter days and preparation for the winter ahead.

Season changes bring changes of all sorts. Staying grounded, centered and balanced is so important at this time. We are facing Mother Earth’s down time and just as we require a respite to keep going, so does she.

Allow yourself to focus on good and positive intentions, eat properly from that which is being harvested, really take notice of all that Gaia is bringing forth and enjoy the start of this wonderfully colorful season when the trees display the most beautiful shades of burgundy, gold, olive and amber.

Although the summer is at its’ end, the fall is just beginning and those brisk days are so very rejuvenating. Each one is offering us a chance to observe the world and see all that is being offered to us for our enjoyment and simple pleasure.

I intend you fully embrace these days filled with crisp autumn air and cherish each one for what it gives to you. They are all unique and filled with opportunity. Soon enough, they too will be gone and we will be looking toward another new season of change which will delight us in a very different way.

Happy Fall!

Is Technology Rewiring YOUR Brain?

Are you crazy about your Blackberry? Do you LOVE your iPad? Is your iPhone your new BFF? Has the latest technological gadget become an appendage?

Go ahead and laugh. Now STOP. Think about these questions.

Seriously consider this: are you addicted to technology? You just might be and if you are, well, guess what? You’re rewiring your brain. Did you want to do that?

Now some may say, no, not me. I'm using these tools because they simplify my life, they keep me organized and I get so much more done. It’s my best time management tool!

Maybe so – but maybe, just maybe, you’re missing opportunities, losing relationships and not performing at peak levels because of all the time you spend WITH your gadgets.

Perhaps it’s time to step away from the technology buffet.

Consider this. You’re with friends at dinner, your phone rings, you check the caller ID and say, “I have to take this”. First of all, most people don’t even say “excuse me”, or “do you mind if” – they presume it will be alright to take that call which is essentially putting the person on the phone first, rather than the people they already committed to spend time with. You take that oh so important call. Maybe you’re only on the phone for a few seconds, maybe minutes, maybe a lot of minutes. For everyone else, it’s not just annoying, it’s really quite rude. It's like a child constantly whining during a conversation - you won't put up with that, and you wouldn't expect anyone else to but you do think it's okay to take call after call after call after call.....

If you do this frequently enough, you will ultimately find that people don’t really want to spend time with you anymore because you’re not wanting to spend your time with them. That’s exactly how it comes across. I know. I've stopped going places with those who simply cannot stay off the phone when we're out. I don't know why they want to get together when every time they hear the phone twirp, sing, ring, beep or whatever, they text back to whomever texted them or they "have to take this call". If you really feel you are so important that you cannot miss a call, why do you go out with those of us who are obviously not as important in the first place. Stay home and talk yourself to death. We're better off - it's very stressful to be constantly told you are unimportant. That is indeed what those techno addicts are saying in their actions. So much for deportment - I guess that went out the window with the advent of technology. You can see that those who are addicted are losing relationships because they have rewired their brains to only respond to technology and they've lost their social skills.
Now let’s move to the family dinner table. Mom has her iPhone by her side, Dad’s Blackberry is next to the water glass, one chilld is listening to their iPod, the other is reading an e-book on their iPad NOT ONE PERSON, is aware of what is happening to the dynamic of the family. Is there even a family dynamic anymore. What happened to the F A M I L Y?????

Remember game night? We've moved on. Now it’s techno-night. Every night. At the dinner table and beyond. I've actaully seen this in action in restaurants. I look and think, WOW, they cannot even enjoy their food, they're only eating for sustenance. It's a real shame. Technology is taking away enjoyment in every aspect of our lives.

You’re rewiring your brain so it only responds to technology and any sense of pleasure is being taken away. Are we becoming the robots that were in those sci-fi movies 30 years ago? You’re losing close relationships with family and friends because you jumped on the bandwagon through peer pressure, "hey, everyone else is doing it", which to you, makes it okay to join them in their addiction! When you allow it to happen you're an enabler , when you join in, you begin the transformation to becoming one of them.....a robotic addict.
About 10-15 years ago one of the biggest problems couples had was having a TV in the kitchen. Psychologists, Psychiatrists, Counselors and Therapists all heard, “the TV is on during dinner and it’s ruining our relationship”. Well guess what? It did. It’s a cry for help that these professionals have heard over and over again for years. Now, it’s common to watch TV during mealtime. So much for family time. Lack of communication, not relating to others for even small amounts of time due to the advent of technological gadgets has become a way of life, it's pulling people apart and it's changing the way we think. We evolved from being addicted to TV to being addicted any and all technological devices to the point of allowing ourselves, our brains, to become a techno gadget itself. No feelings for others, no consideration of what is polite or nice, we're losing emotions, technology is taking over and we're allowing it.

I don't know about you, but I like having control over my mind and what I'm doing. I don't want to retrain myself to only respond to technological devices and lose social skills to the point where no one wants to be in my company.

Let’s now consider your work environment.

There you are at work multi-tasking like crazy. You’re a whiz at this stuff. Life is GREAT!

Uh-oh the boss is having a conniption over something. Why is the boss coming to you? What happened?

Apparently, during your multi-tasking when you were speaking on the phone while sending an e-mail, the person you spoke to got the response they needed to move forward with their portion of a project that required an authorization for more funds. Oh yes, you did. You told them to go ahead with it. WHY? Because you were sending an e-mail, while talking on the phone and you CANNOT do two things at the same time, giving each task100% of your attention. YOU CANNOT. It’s science. MRI’s prove this. One part of the brain overrides the other and the secondary task suffers for it. Now you’re attempt at multi-tasking has made more work for you because you need to fix this little faux pas you didn't mean to create.

Even if you have only one task that requires either decision making, or comprehension, you can't do that and something else at the same time. Our brains process auditory information and visual information in two different areas. MRI studies have shown that only one can dominate at a time. Therefore, although you really believe you’re successful at talking on the phone while sending an e-mail, you're not. You might get through the call and you might have sent the e-mail but you didn't give enough attention to each individual task to do it well. That e-mail may be half thought out and that phone call you received – well, look where that will get you.

Studies have shown that people who use a lot of techno-media gadgets simultaneously are much more easily distracted, less focused and find they have trouble switching from one task to another. They lose relationships in every area of their life because they are consumed with all the technology available to them that will simplify their lives.

In the end, when we multi-task, it doesn’t work. You cannot do two things at once giving 100% of your attention to each task. It is physically impossible to do so. Can't stress this enough.

Addictions to the latest inventions is not unprecedented either. Bill Powers is the author of "Hamlet's BlackBerry." In his book he tells us that overconsumption of a new thing dates back to Shakespeare. "When the printing press came along, people all of a sudden felt this need to have to learn how to read," Powers said. "Henry David Thoreau, the great philosopher, noted that people got addicted to going to the post office. They would go five, six, seven times a day." Isn't e-mail the modern day post office, right at your fingertips, in your own home? Hmmmmmm...history does repeat itself, doesn't it?

Powers himself was a victim of overconsumption. Members of his family would sequester themselves after dinner to their individual dens of technology not seeing each other until morning. Once he and his wife noted this was a problem they declared their weekends were now an “Internet Sabbath” and have been unplugging themselves on weekends for the past three years, quite successfully. The Internet Sabbath has revolutionized their lives.

I taught time management 20 years ago, before all these technological devices were invented. Back then, time management was giving 100% to each task individually, while getting things done simultaneously.

Yes, I know, I hear you. What are you talking about? You just said it’s physically impossible to do that. No I didn’t. Read the above paragraph again. I said you cannot do two things at the same time giving each of them 100% of your attention. That's absolutely true. However, you can give 100% to each task you need to accomplish and get them done simultaneously.

Here’s a very simplified example. It’s Saturday, you need to get groceries, clean laundry, change bed linens, weed the garden, cook dinner and of course, check your e-mail. Oh yes, and let’s not forget you would really love to have a cup of coffee to kick start your day.

First, wake up your PC and press Send/Receive to obtain your e-mails. WHILE that is happening walk to the kitchen and start the coffee maker, now check the PC (37 incoming e-mails and more on the way). Strip the beds and start that first load of laundry. You’re upstairs now, you may as well put fresh linens on the bed. Back to the PC, almost done. Good. Pour yourself that cup of coffee and then write out your grocery list. Now take care of the e-mails. Way too many e-mails, took longer than you thought? That's okay, it’s Saturday and you’re multi-tasking right now, in a good way. Put the clothes in the dryer, just bed linens, they’ll be fine while you go grocery shopping. You come home, the dryer is buzzing, linens are dry. First, bring in the groceries and put away the perishables. Now go fold the linens and start the next load. Put away the rest of the groceries. You know what you're making for dinner so while the laundry is going why not go out and weed? When you've weeded to your hearts' content, go back in and put the washed clothes in the dryer. Start dinner. Fold the clothes. Now go finish cooking dinner and sit down with whomever and enjoy that scrumptious meal you made and be grateful for all that you accomplished WELL today.

This is very simplistic and organized, which is the key to multi-tasking. You get my point though. Putting things in order of what to do and then executing that plan is indeed multi-tasking. Each task is getting done but YOU do not need to devote your undivided attention to them simultaneously. ONLY when you are working on each one, at that specific moment do you give it 100% of your attention. In this way, everything gets accomplished. Tasks are done well and there are no mistakes.

This is what is referred to as being present in each moment. A topic for another day but really, doesn’t it suit this scenario too?

If we continue to allow technology to make life easier for us by multi-tasking poorly, ignoring people (let's say that's unknowingly even though it's right in your face) then we are allowing technology to get the best of us. And get the better of us it will. It already has in a lot more cases than anyone wants to admit.

We all use and need technology. We just need to balance it so we’re using it as it should be used: to optimize our time, giving us the freedom to spend more time with those we love and want to be with.

Step away from the technology buffet. Declare your own Internet Sabbath. Build relationships, work smart giving undivided attention where it needs to be at the moment and multi-task properly. You’ll get more done and you won’t be a prisoner of the technology that is taking you away from your life. A life you should be living in joy, peace and love.

Now, go forth and unplug for the weekend! You have absolutely nothing to lose and you just may just realize that doing things the old fashion way, without the gadgets, can be pleasant, relaxing, comforting and make you feel just plain good all over.

Intending you a technology free holiday weekend!
 

Copyright 2009. T Love. All Rights Reserved.

More Cancer Centers and Doctors Encouraging the Use of Reiki

by Jack Bleeker

April 2010

With groups like the Society of Integrative Oncology, a multi-disciplinary organization of professionals, touting the advantages of complementary cancer treatment and recovery, new methodologies, including Reiki are gaining in popularity. More and more cancer centers and oncologists are beginning to recognize the benefits that these treatments – once dismissed with a snicker by those “in-the-know” – are providing for those who just don’t know where to turn to address issues like the pain and stress associated with cancer and its conventional treatments.

Complementary therapies - not to be confused with “alternative” therapies, which are unproven treatments – have gradually made their way to the forefront of cancer care as well-known oncologists who are lauded experts in their field begin to promote these supportive treatments as a natural part of cancer care. Even the National Institutes of Health operates a National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, researching complementary therapies and then recommending proven ones for integration into cancer programs nationwide, including those associated with mesothelioma cancer.

Lately, the ancient form of spiritual healing known as Reiki (pronounced Ray-kee) has earned plenty of attention as a potential complementary therapy for all kinds of cancer, including malignant mesothelioma. Rooted in Tibetan Buddhism, Reiki was “rediscovered” in the early 20th century and became particularly popular in the late 1990s as Reiki Masters began to teach non-Buddhists that life energy flows through all persons, this technique strives to increase the life force energy of a sick individual, therefore helping him achieve better health and happiness.

Like many complementary therapies, Reiki takes a holistic approach – treating mind, body, and spirit – and is safe and natural. Many cancer patients who have tried it note an overall feeling of peace, relaxation, and well-being when the treatment is complete. Totally non-invasive, Reiki therapy involves the laying of hands on the fully-clothed patient by the Reiki practitioner. His/her hands travel through 12 different positions, staying in each place for about 5 minutes for a total of about an hour per treatment. The feeling of invigoration or tranquility results from the fact that Reiki causes the body's molecules to vibrate at a higher intensity, hence, dissolving energy blockages that lead to disharmony and disease, Reiki masters note. This assists in controlling pain, easing stress, or lessening side effects of traditional treatments like chemotherapy, including nausea and other debilitating problems for mesothelioma cancer patients. It is also believed to improve immune function.

With continuous positive reactions from many cancer patients, mesothelioma clinics such as Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center offer Reiki classes for cancer patients, including Sloan Kettering mesothelioma patients on a regular basis as well as in-service classes for their hospital staff. Other well-known hospitals to jump on the Reiki bandwagon include Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center, Columbia Presbyterian, the Yale Center, and Cancer Treatment Centers of America. The list continues to grow as patients use tools like the internet to advertise their positive reactions to this ancient healing art, enticing others to give it a try.

References:

National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicines (http://nccam.nih.gov/)
Society for Integrative Oncology (www.integrativeonc.org
Chemocare.com, http://www.chemocare.com/complementary_medicine.asp)
The International Center for Reiki Training ( www.reiki.org)
Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center (www.mskcc.org)

NOTE: Approximately 95% of hospitals offer Reiki therapy as a complementary integrative treatment to conventional medicine.

NATIONAL WOMEN’S HEALTH WEEK

This is a great time for all you women to think about YOU and YOUR health. After all, if you don’t take care of you, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else.

First things first, take TIME for YOURSELF. Yes, I’ve said it. TAKE TIME FOR YOU!!!!

I don’t care if that means going for a walk, starting a new workout program, going to a spa for a massage or a facial, reading a book, jumping in the tub for a soak or just enjoying a quiet time to think, with no noise, no one asking for you to do this or that.

If you want to have a happy, healthy life, you need to nurture yourself and nurturing yourself fosters good health. Oh, I’m not saying go out and spoil yourself. Well, okay, I am. Sort of. Just be good to you so you can maintain your sanity and have a little less stress.

Stress is the silent killer and we women do stress very well. Take a break from stress. Work on being with yourself. Your good company and hey, you really are worth it.

Happy National Women’s Health Week

Oh, and if you haven’t scheduled that doctors appointment or mammogram or blood test, take a moment now and do it. It won’t be hanging over your head and you’ll be glad you got it off your to do list. See, even that lessens the stress!

Copyright 2009. T Love. All Rights Reserved.